David McNett

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets
into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank " 

Passenger: "Who?" 

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time." Like
my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank
Feldman every single time"

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." 

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the
Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera
baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the
piano. He was an amazing guy." 

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." 

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He could remember
everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and
the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right." 


Passenger "Wow, some guy then." 

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made
a mistake." 

Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around." 


Cabbie: "And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and
never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always
immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a
mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman " 

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank " 

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" 

Cabbie: "I married his f* cking widow."